I need to be perfectly clear about this as not to offend, cause confusion, or get bitched out by somebody. I'm not a person who thinks a lot about race. I don't think about mine until I walk by a mirror and wonder 1) what is my hair doing 2) how long has it been doing that and 3) why haven't you kind white people told me? But, I digress. I love everyone. Cool? Cool. We're square. Now, stop asking me about Kwanzaa.
Great God Almighty, I may be Black (and that is even disputed by some Black people) but I am under no obligation to observe, celebrate or even know what Kwanzaa is all about! I want to say the it's a festival of lights, but that might be Hanukkah. And most of what I know about Hanukkah I learned from a song Adam Sandler performed once on Saturday Night Live (you know the one.) Clearly, I'm not the most reliable source of intelligence—about this, or about anything, really—so quit requesting my knowledge, especially concerning this holiday. It's like people only discovered Kwanzaa was a thing, this year.
But it's not only non-Black people who've got it in their heads that I should know what's up. Today, I'm in Best Buy and a very large, pseudo-tribal looking gentleman from Nigeria—I later learn—follows me around the store for almost thirty minutes. Why, you ask? Because I'm supposed to know about Kwanzaa and I'm failing his friendly impromptu game show style quiz/assault.
"You do not know the Nguzo Saba?!"
"No, friend, I don't."
It was just another example of a scenario where ignorance proved not to be so blissful. Now, please, if you would like to know more about Kwanzaa, ask the Interwebs. If that's too impersonal for you there's a large, laughing fellow at the Best Buy in St. Louis Park, Minnesota, I'm sure he would love to help you.